Gambling is a fun activity that occurs among like-minded individuals. Most people gamble once in a while to get some cash. However, this activity is damaging to some people. It causes them to gamble more, even if they don’t have the money.  

Gambling addiction is a serious disorder that can affect every aspect of one's life, including their job, relationships, and finances. According to The National Council on Problem Gambling, two percent of American adults develop a gambling addiction.

If your partner gambles regularly, you might wonder if they have an addiction. According to UPMC Western Maryland, there are warning signs that you should look out for:

  • Being secretive about gambling habits and finances

  • Continuing to gamble despite the negative consequences

  • Defensive about gambling activities

  • Irritability or restless from not gambling

  • Secrecy about finances and whereabouts 

 If you notice that your partner exhibits signs of gambling addiction, get them help as soon as possible.

The Impacts of Gambling on a Relationship

Unfortunately, gambling addiction can also ruin relationships. It can cause tension and disagreements. This debilitating illness can cause someone to lie to their partner. This leads to a lack of trust in one’s relationship. 

Gambling addiction also causes financial problems, which is the leading cause of divorce in the U.S. For every 10 marriages that end due to divorce, four of them are because of money. This puts more strain on the relationship, especially if children are involved. Kids can notice when their parents are stressed out and unhappy.

This eventually leads to financial trauma. Young children can feel anxious about money problems and financial instability, especially what it means for their future.

Dealing With a Gambler

Gambling has been normalized in society. Most people don't think it's a big deal. Even some mental health experts don't regard it as a serious addiction.

Some people might not even notice they have a problem. As mentioned, your partner might become defensive if you bring it up. This makes it harder for you to get them the help they need. 

Most people feel embarrassed by their problem gambling. It's important not to chastise your partner. You also shouldn’t be so hard on yourself when it comes to your partner’s gambling habits.

Also, you shouldn’t end up in denial because your partner is as well. It can be easier to brush off their gambling. Their addictive behavior causes them to lose control of every aspect of their life. It’s better to bring up this problem before it gets worse.

Taking Care of Yourself

You might want to devote all of your time to your partner. However, you should also take care of yourself during this difficult time. Gambling addiction can cause stress and anxiety in relationships. 

You might put your emotional needs on the back burner. You can’t care for others if you can’t care for yourself. Self-care is vital during this time. This involves drinking water, having a regular sleep schedule, and eating a balanced diet.

It’s not selfish to enjoy time for yourself. Take part in hobbies and interests you enjoy. Engage in a walk or light exercise. Self-care also involves setting boundaries with your spouse. 

Setting healthy boundaries protects your emotions. You’re going to be in a fragile state during this time. You can’t control your partner or their addiction even if you want to. But, you shouldn’t also tolerate their gaslighting, disrespect, or manipulation. 

Should I stay or should I go?

You might have reservations about staying with your partner. It's normal to feel this way. Not everyone can handle the emotional toll of being with someone who has a gambling addiction. It can cause stress on yourself and your relationship. 

The side effects can also effect your emotional and mental state. It can also ruin your financial situation. Your partner must be willing to seek help because it indicates self-awareness and growth. This reveals their interest in rebuilding trust and healing your relationship.

When considering the state of your relationship, consider the following factors to leave:

  • Struggling with emotions such as confusion

  • Ties that could affect your decision to stay or leave

  • Your values and how they affect the current situation

These factors can help you determine whether you want to stay in the relationship or consider ending it. This resource also has a quiz that can help you explore these tough questions. You shouldn't stay in a relationship if your partner is causing harm to you or your family. If you are being abused, seek help as soon as possible. 

Treatment Options

Gambling addiction is the uncontrollable urge to quit gambling despite the negative fallout. It can take a toll on your relationship if you don’t address it. Treatment is necessary for effective recovery.

The most commonly recommended treatment for gambling addiction is cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). This treatment changes your behaviors, thoughts, and responses to situations to maintain recovery.

CBT's mission is to recognize and change the cognitive distortions associated with gambling addiction. According to Mayo Clinic, recent trials have shown it's an effective form of treatment.

Treatment for gambling addiction often includes therapy, medication, and self-help groups. Treatment for anxiety, depression, or other mental health disorders is included in the plan. It might also involve an inpatient program, an outpatient program, or a residential treatment program.

Self-help treatments have been on the rise in recent years. They involve telephone or videocam visits with a licensed mental health professional. It's an ideal option for couples working on their relationship. 

Sources:

National Council on Problem Gambling

8 Signs of a Gambling Addiction - UPMC Western Maryland

What is self-care? | Global Self-Care Federation

QUIZ: Is My Spouse Addicted to Gambling? Stay or Divorce?

Compulsive gambling - Diagnosis & treatment - Mayo Clinic